I have just in the past few days become an RSVP etiquette expert.
I must humbly admit to you that in the recent past when I have received invitations to events which I could not attend I would not RSVP and leave it to the hostess to assume I would not be there.
I KNOW!
But now I am reformed.
Having just been in the hostess role for our Celebrate Fall party, and knowing what a relief it is to have guests call the day they receive the invitation to say, "Thanks for the invite, but we can't make it," or, "Yes, we will be there," has opened my eyes.
The planning goes so much smoother for the hostess if she doesn't have to wait until the last minute to estimate the number of guests who will be attending.
So, if you are the type who calls to RSVP the day you get the invitation, BRAVO! Thank you for making my job easier and for showing me the error of my ways!
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Sunday, October 25, 2009
RSVP Etiquette
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6 comments:
We were just talking about this yesterday at a party. Someone said they received a wedding invitation that asked guests to RSVP if they were NOT coming. That way, the didn't have to do anything if they were coming. I wonder if that worked out for them.
It's true that RSVP means to please respond- regardless, but I think in practice it has come to mean only RSVP if you are going, unless the invitation specifically says RSPV regrets only. Then there's the food factor that messes up the above assumption. When I'm having a party with a free meal, I assume 2/3 will come. That usually proves true. And I have my mom's many, many years of being a hostess to back it up. When having a party without a free meal or where something is required of the guests- like bringing a gift- it's more like 1/2. Hope this helps.
When planning my kids' birthday parties this was the worst hurdle. It sure taught me the importance of responding.
When I've been guilty of not replying, it has usually been a case of forgetting, or not being able to phone because it was too late in the evening, etc. I love it now when hostesses include an e-mail response option. I can do it right then while I'm thinking about it, from my phone even, without worrying about interrupting family dinner or waking someone up. Let's put this technology that is overtaking our lives to use!
I'm a reliable RSVPer, but I realize that other folks just get sidetracked, so I do 2 things: I ask for an RSVP by a certain date, and the day after that date I call the ones I haven't yet heard from. No pressure, just, "I was hoping you'd received our invitation and that you'll be able to join us."
Occasionally, the invitation wasn't received, but more often, it was a case of "when I thought of it, I couldn't call and when I could've called, I didn't think of it."
I did use evite.com recently and that was nice for managing the guest list and for communicating with everyone at once.
Oh Connie, oh dear, I almost lost my faith in you. Thank goodness you've been reformed, I don't have to blacklist you now. :) People who don't RSVP are one of my pet peeves.
I don't get why people are afraid to say "sorry I can't make it". You don't need to give an excuse, I won't ask why...just let me know if you won't be attending! And please RSVP on time. Don't call the day before to let me know you and your 5 kids plus your friends from out of town will be coming...with appetites!
I agree with the commenters who recommended the option of email or evites for RSVP, it makes it easier for people to say no.
Ooohh thank you!!! You reminded me- I was supposed to talk to hubby this weekend about something we're invited to next weekend so I can RSVP and I totally forgot until I saw this post! That would have been bad. Thank you for reminding me!
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