Friday, March 9, 2007

To the young man who rang my doorbell last night:

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I don't know you, but you seem like the ambitious sort. Door to door sales is tiresome work, after all. You must be doing it in order to earn some money, so I thought you might find these tips profitable.

  • After dark may not be the best time to approach the house of someone you do not know in order to sell something they may not want.
  • If you do continue to go door to door after dark, please, turn your cap around. The "gangsta" look doesn't make me want to trust you. That style might be more effective if you're going for the "bouncer at a night club" look, but when trying to sell detergent to a housewife, not so much.
  • Also, pull up your pants. I didn't want to say anything last night, but, dude, I could totally see your underwear!
  • You really don't need those combat boots in this neighborhood. The terrain here is pretty mild if you stay on the sidewalks. Honestly, they make you look....well, combative. It may have been the yelling that added to that perception, though.
  • That brings me to my final tip. When someone smiles and says, "No, thank you," "THANKS FOR BEING RUDE, LADY!!" isn't going to get you very far in sales. I'm not sure what your trainer told you, but I probably won't be the last person who tells you "no," and there may even be someone who doesn't include the "thank you." You might want to do an attitude check before you go much farther, in life, as well as sales.
  • OK, that last one was my next to the last tip. Here is my real last tip. Walmart is hiring. So is Radio Shack and Sonic. Door to door sales is not the line of work for you. In fact, it's pretty much a dying trade. There are better ways to make money, and you probably won't scare the neighborhood ladies while you're at it. Just be prepared. There may be someone who answers, "no," when you ask, "Would you like to super size that?"


Nikki said...

So eloquently written. I thought at first the post was going to be about a young man seeking out your oldest daughter's attention. Back to the point, before living on an Air Force Base, I too have experienced rude young sales people and thought very similar things. You should publish this.

Heather said...

I love your tips! Do you think he'll read it? I hope so! We have had simular experiences at our door - always unsettling to be sure! It's the attitude that always startles me. Have these young people never heard 'no thank you' before? Maybe they have just never heard 'no' - we are living in such permissive times.

Myfriendconnie said...

Thanks, Nikki!

Heather, I didn't get the impression that he spends his spare time reading blogs written by Christian, homeschooling housewives. I could be wrong, though.

Linsey said...

OMG..Love this post! I get these guys about once per week! My kids and I have turned this into a game! When the guy rings the door bell we sneak into another room and see who can be the quietest! My kids think this is HISTERICAL!
I know the guy can hear us...
I'm sure he saw us sitting at the kitchen table when he walked by the window!
But in our day and times, I am not opening my door to a complete stranger!
I agree with Nikki, this should be published!

Sara said...

Too true. They sure hate getting told "No", don't they? Too bad they'll never read this.

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