Monday, November 9, 2009

Which is Why I Don't Listen to the Radio

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Here is a conversation that took place in the van the other day as we were on our way hither and yon. Please, do keep in mind that there was absolutely nothing unusual about this exchange.

14 year old: (while looking at a library book) "Wow! I just found the dimensions for the Statue of Liberty. These are incredible!"

8 year old: "What are dimensions?"

3 year old: "Do chickens get chicken pops?"

5 year old: "Are we going to church tonight?"

Baby: "Deesus wufs me..."

Me: "No"


14 year old: "The tablet she holds is 24 inches thick. 24 inches!"

Baby: "dis I know..."

Me: "Yes, we are going to church. No chickens don't get chicken POX."

14 year old: "And the index finger is over 7 ft."

8 year old: "What are dimensions?"

Baby: "Deesus wufs me..."

Me: "Dimensions are..."

9 year old: "MOMMYYYYYY! He is kicking the back of my seat!"

Boy: "No I'm not. I'm nudging it."

Baby: "dis I know..."

Me: "No kicking or nudging!"

8 year old: "What are dimensions?"

5 year old: "I knew we were going to church because we always go on church night. Right Mommy? Right? Mommy? Don't we? Right Mommy?"

Me: "Dimensions are..."

3 year old:  "Then why are they called 'chicken pops'? Did chickens invents them?"

14 year old:  "Here is a quiz. 'In which hand does she hold the tablet?' Who would not know that?!"

Me: Pulls van over and runs wildly through a field and into the woods never to return while screaming, "Dimensions are measurementsMEASUREMENTS!!!"

Police: "Ma'am, you're going to have to come with us."

Okay, I made up those last two little bits, but I think you get the idea.

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Anonymous said...

Very funny...very real.

...they call me mommy... said...

HAHAHA! Btw...which hand IS the tablet in? ;)

Lisa Beth W. said...

Hahahahahaha! That's an exact parallel to what it sounds like in our van! So funny! When you see what it looks like when you type it all out like that--no wonder my husband never says anything while he's driving and leaves it all to me!

Anita said...

Yes, I can relate!! And my husband wonders why I want quiet. The kids don't seem to constantly talk to him at the same time.

BTW, I made your schedule (only with my kids names on it) yesterday. 1/2 a day down and it's going ok so far. I only scheduled in blocks of time instead of hourly. That would just drive me crazy if we weren't on schedule. I am sneaking in some computer time while the 17 yos is working on history in his room, the 13 yos is writing about Jamestown at the dining room table, the 10yod is helping the 5 yos make a Powhatan costume, the 13 month old is destroying (playing quietly) in the school room and the 21yod just left to run errands for me. I have to take a quiet moment when I can!

Lene said...


Weird Unsocialized Mom said...

I'm so glad it's not just me!!!

Monica said...

So funny, and yet, so true!

Kara said...

Oh, I laughed so hard I cried! I love these conversations though and I feel so bad for those who never get to hear them:)!!

Linz said...


Amy said...

Funniest thing I've read today. I guess it's fairly amazing that my 2 boys ride almost silently while listening to classical music??

Amy said...

That was great. That same conversation could have been heard in my suburban, although I could never remember all the parts! And I also have the radio going! When we travel we listen to Adventures in Odyessy, and it is very quiet. Except for kids "Shushing" each other so they can hear all the story! Thanks for the laugh!

jennifer said...

Hahaha! You don't need any other entertainment!

Kelly Family said...

you can officially put multi tasking on your resume

Laurie said...

HILARIOUS! I need to remember this the next time I am in one of these conversations with my kids because these conversations can be so annoying when experiencing one. I am sure I will miss them someday. I would need a tape recorder though to remember who said what though! Very funny! Thanks for sharing.

Brenda said...

My husband was home sick today and I was MUCH more aware of how we sound to outsiders. Yes, I'm including him in outsiders b/c he misses out on all these conversations during the day. His ears were tired by suppertime.

Smockity Frocks said...


The tablet is in the right hand. DUH! (Smockity says after she asks 14 y.o. daughter)

I am blessed! said...

What, no shushing?! You've got some patience! I must have sensory processing disorder or something. I can't stand for more than one person to talk at a time!

Marcy said...

don't you love it when your life is like an Albert and Costello skit?

Aunt LoLo said...


Why, oh WHY do I always read the funny blogs when the babies are asleep! I can't laugh out loud!

(Maybe it's because the babies are asleep...and I get a moment to myself? Hrm.... ;-))

mamazee said...

oh, i loved this post! This is my life - from about 6:30 a.m till maybe midnight (i know they should be asleep, but they keep coming out in ones and twos to tell me "just one more thing") - i've got seven 14 and under!

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