Things I Learned at the Zoo

Imagine a snazzy zoo photo here.

I took the kiddos to the zoo today and thought I would use a list to summarize a few of the things I learned from our little educational adventure.

--1--

If you leave the camera's memory card inserted in the computer AT HOME, you will not be able to take photos of the historic event.

--2--

When you see parents who have rented zoo strollers for four and five year old children, don't scoff and think to yourself, "Why don't those children walk? Just look at my three year old! She is much younger and is capable of walking happily along," because you will eat your words when you are two and a half miles from your car and the three year old is whining incessantly and at the top of her lungs, "THE SUN IS HOT! I CAN'T WALK BECAUSE THE SUN IS HOT!"

--3--

When you think you are a smarty pants because you bring your own drinks so as to avoid those $4 zoo beverages and you poured an ample amount of rock salt in the ice chest to keep those drinks frosty cold, you won't feel so smart when the drinks are FROZEN SOLID and no one is able to get any moisture to relieve their thirst. Don't worry, though. Just tell the children to "Suck harder!" and that will occupy them until you have passed all the beverage stands.

--4--

When there is a twenty something mother of a toddler who has apparently taken great care to adjust her bosoms so they are barely contained in the undergarment she put on right before she forgot to put on the over garment, that mother and toddler will appear at every exhibit one second after you get there and you will feel the need to shepherd the children on, because THE BOSOMS ARE AMPLE! I CAN'T SEE BECAUSE THE BOSOMS ARE AMPLE!