Thursday, March 5, 2009

Things I Learned at the Zoo

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Imagine a snazzy zoo photo here.

I took the kiddos to the zoo today and thought I would use a list to summarize a few of the things I learned from our little educational adventure.


If you leave the camera's memory card inserted in the computer AT HOME, you will not be able to take photos of the historic event.


When you see parents who have rented zoo strollers for four and five year old children, don't scoff and think to yourself, "Why don't those children walk? Just look at my three year old! She is much younger and is capable of walking happily along," because you will eat your words when you are two and a half miles from your car and the three year old is whining incessantly and at the top of her lungs, "THE SUN IS HOT! I CAN'T WALK BECAUSE THE SUN IS HOT!"


When you think you are a smarty pants because you bring your own drinks so as to avoid those $4 zoo beverages and you poured an ample amount of rock salt in the ice chest to keep those drinks frosty cold, you won't feel so smart when the drinks are FROZEN SOLID and no one is able to get any moisture to relieve their thirst. Don't worry, though. Just tell the children to "Suck harder!" and that will occupy them until you have passed all the beverage stands.


When there is a twenty something mother of a toddler who has apparently taken great care to adjust her bosoms so they are barely contained in the undergarment she put on right before she forgot to put on the over garment, that mother and toddler will appear at every exhibit one second after you get there and you will feel the need to shepherd the children on, because THE BOSOMS ARE AMPLE! I CAN'T SEE BECAUSE THE BOSOMS ARE AMPLE!


Kim said...

The whole "over-garment" idea is apparently very overrated these days. Once the temps warm up here we seem to have the same problem at Busch Gardens!

I am so ready to go to the zoo :) I am glad to have a camera that will finally take a least a few pics without the card just in case and I finally invested in two batteries so one is always charged but I have found myself in your position *countless* times!

Amy said...

Oh no! LOL!!

Amazing how close we can be to being prepared and yet how FAR we end up from it. *sigh*

Thanks for great post. Too bad it didn't have any pictures. ;)

karen b said...

sorry, connie; i didn't realize my bosoms were distracting you...hahahahahahaha

Smockity Frocks said...

Karen, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. My eyes never made it up to the face...

A Hopeful Hollar said...

#3 really made me laugh!!! :-)

Linz said...

LOL! Oh, I miss hanging out with you! :)

Lauramamadoula said...

I used to roll my eyes at kids that were 4 and 5 in strollers too!

...and then we had a kid with balance problems. a kid who muscles strength and coordination isn't good and it isn't her fault. and we often get her strollers on bit walks so she can have a break. and she looks like a big 4 or 5 year old in a stroller for no good reason to other people, I'm sure. just like I would have assumed.

you never know when you will eat those words/thoughts! LOL

sariah said...

Hilarious. I have experienced both the "lack of stroller panic" and "frozen solid drinks with 5 thirsty kids waiting" and I had to laugh.

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