Friday, November 7, 2008


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We are fond of using this little phrase in our family to express mock outrage. If one of our family members lets out a burp, someone is sure to say, "WELL! I NEVER!" To which the burper will respond flatly, "Maybe you should sometime."

Then we all crack up because we are easily amused.

And classy.

So, this got me to thinking of a few of the things I said I would NEVER (!) do when I was a young mother, all of which I do at least twice a week now. Here they are in no particular order.

  • Allow my baby to wear nothing but a diaper.

  • Take my baby in public barefooted. (Not me, silly! The baby. I do have some small measure of self respect left.)

  • Take my baby girl to church with no hair bow. (Horrors!)

  • Take my baby in public in pajama type footy outfits.

  • Wipe my baby's nose on an article of clothing.

Obviously, I was very mature and spent my time setting high standards for moral excellence.

So, what did you say you would NEVER (!) do that is a regular occurrence now?


Harmony said...

Hehe. I said I'd never be as cheap as my mother. Well, honestly, I think I've surpassed her....

But I will never use 1/4 ply toilet paper. I will not sink that low. My husband won't let me! ;-)

JunkMale said...

No, I certainly will NEVER EVER EVER allow the use of that awful 1/4 ply (=satanic) toilet paper in any household of mine. One should never use toilet paper that one can see through. I will vomit if that stuff ever crosses my threshold.

Whenever I have to use that horrid stuff, I make it a point to use enough to emulate using real toilet paper. So that means I'm rolling and wadding and rolling and and wadding rolling about 4 times the length of toilet paper that I normally would.

Her mother is cheap in strange places, you see..

Lene said...

They make 1/4 ply toilet paper???

Brenda said...

Keep our children out late...which is the one thing I think we have stuck with mostly. We are very good about getting them home and in bed at a decent hour.

Um, when I was younger I said I would never make my children wear hand-me-downs. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Harmony said...

Lene: lol, that's what my Husband calls the toilet paper that's so thin you can see through it. Technically, it's 1 ply, I think, but it's so thin it may as well be 1/4 ply. ;-)

Smockity Frocks said...

Easy on the descriptions of rolling and wadding now, Junk Male! This here's a family friendly blog! :)

Lainie said...

I, with the strongest conviction, said (loudly) that I would never, ever let my children eat while watching T.V.(video)

I should buy mint-flavored shoes seeing how my foot is always in my mouth...

Aunt LoLo said...

There are just too many to count. HOWEVER, my FAVORITE "I NEVER" has (thankfully!!!) not yet entered my repertoire. This was reported to me by my father -
Standing in line at our local warehouse store, he saw a small boy (2?) with a face covered in chocolate cake. Some mothers would lick a thumb and get to work. Not this mama - oh no. She bent down and licked. his. face. clean.

Yeah - I'm never gonna go there. I know what ELSE is UNDER the chocolate cake...and it just kills the temptation!

Anonymous said...

I wrote a whole post about my wonderful mothering skillz. Thanks for helping me to see my faults Connie! =P

Smockity Frocks said...

Aunt Lolo,

Oh. No. She. Di'int.

That is just guh-ROSS!


Anonymous said...

I decided when I was expecting my first, to never let him/her use a public toilet because Oh The Germs! Well that lasted about 3 days after he was potty trained. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

He's 21 now so I guess it didn't kill 'em!

Mary in TN

Anonymous said...

when someone burps around here, it's:
"Speak again, bright angel!"
Romeo, from Shakespeare's R & J.
Like yours, too.
Sooz in the Tules

Kara said...

Oh, the list is so long I can't even begin...but I love it when I say things that my mother said to me as a child, my response to her was always "when I have kids I'll never make them do that" etc. Guess what? I say those things to my kids on a daily basis!!

Oh, and I tagged you:)

3 for school said...

My favorites:

Nothing but a diaper. My boys were born during a record-breakingly hot year. They were lucky to have a diaper!

Take my baby in public in pajama type footy outfits. We lived in cold climates so that was far more responsible. . .especially when I didn't put shoes on them!

I remember when my kids were younger, there were more "I was never going to do that" than not. I've blissfully blocked them all from my memory. Benefits of having them (and me) grow older. LOL

Now when I'm tempted to look down on someone else with an "I'd never", I choke it back and think, "I hope I'm never in that situation!"

Michelle said...

Actually, you pretty much covered every single one of I'll Nevers". Because I have done Every. Single. One. now. At least I'm consistent.

I will say that before I had any children, when I would see a child acting up in church, I would lean to my husband and say, "our children will NEVER act like that".

I have lived to eat those words.

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