Tuesday, July 8, 2008

The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

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Here is a book that Works For Me! (Click on the title of the post to see reviews.)

I know Dr. Laura is a controversial figure, but I really admire her way of laying it on the line and disregarding the political correctness of most of today's "marriage experts".

This book reads just like one of her radio talk shows. In fact, she includes many excerpts from the show's transcripts, so if her rough language bothers you, you may want to steer clear of this one.(I have always been extremely repelled by cussing, but in this case, I think the book is good enough to overlook it.)

If, however, you appreciate straightforward, Biblical advice about how to honor and love your husband, this book is for you.

There are also many letters from men telling Dr. Laura their thoughts about marriage and how they feel about wives who nag and complain at every turn. Dr. Laura advises,

"One small step toward a wife's taking responsibility is to keep lips buttoned over things that do not really matter. I'm fond of repeating a phrase sent to me by a retired Marine master sergeant: 'Is this a hill you wish to die on?' Frankly, asking myself that question always makes my priorities instantly fall into place and reduces my tension about whatever it is I was worked up about."

I have heard it said that a good wife should be blind in one eye. The Bible says it this way, "Love covers a multitude of sins."

If the President of the United States were conversing with me, would I correct him if he made some small mistake, say, in pronouncing "nuclear" as he is prone to do? Certainly not! Why should I give my husband any less honor than that?

I'll never forget the time my husband and I were visiting with another couple and the husband was telling us some story about their daughter that I can no longer recall. What I do remember is the part where he was relating the year the story happened.

"It was the summer of 1992," the husband said. "No it wasn't," the wife interrupted, "It was 1991." The husband was certain he was correct about the year and his wife was equally as adamant that her recollection was right. They argued on and on about it for several minutes while my husband and I squirmed uncomfortably in our seats.

The date had no bearing whatsoever on the point of the story, but the wife had become so invested in being right, that she had apparently forgotten this, and embarrassed herself and her husband in the process.

It is hard to let something go when we know we are right, isn't it? But, for the sake of harmony, some things are best left unsaid. What matters more? Embarrassing your husband to make sure the proper year was documented? Or remaining silent and letting your husband feel like a good story teller?

Dr. Laura's book is a good reminder, to any wife who is willing to listen, that men are primarily simple creatures. They want mainly to be treated with respect and affection and will go to the ends of the earth to provide for their families.

19 comments:

Emily said...

I like that book, too! I read it a few years ago, but it wouldn't hurt to read again - thanks!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful reminder- thanks! I'll have to check out the book.

The Apron Queen said...

Love the Marine quote! Thanks for this post. :D

Come try out my finger-licking good, messy, sticky, but SUPER easy BBQ rib recipe: http://anapronaday.blogspot.com/2008/07/easy-bbq-ribs-recipe.html

~The Bargain Babe from *Zucchini Summer Blog* said...

I've been wanting to check that book out! "Is this a hill you want to die on" VERY good suggestion. I'll have to start asking myself that before getting angry over something.

Anonymous said...

Love that book! I bought it at a yard sale from an elderly lady. She said she bought it last year and it kept her from divorce at the age of 78.

Mary in TN

Tanya said...

This is something I can definitely continue to work on. On little issues, it is just not worth it to make a big deal out of them. I need to work on this with my parenting too. Thanks for the tip!

Wani said...

Great suggestion! THanks for sharing!

jennwa said...

That sounds like great advice, I will have to check out this book next time I go to the library. Thanks.

Homeschoolin' hot-rodders said...

Oh wow! That books look one that I need to check out :) Thanks!

Angela

Carol said...

Sounds like a great read. Will look for it.

MamaJ said...

Yes! I liked this book too! I sent it to my sister, who is engaged, hoping she would glean knowledge from it before getting married.

Puddintane! said...

thank you for sharing this with everyone, it is a must read i think for women. It took me some time to actually have it all sink in and it has made my marriage so much better. i love Dr.Laura :)

Niki Jolene said...

great reminder!

:)

Audra Krell said...

Sometimes my husband uses a similiar word for what he is really trying to say, but I have finally stopped correcting him. Now I am free to actually enjoy him and he definitely is, enjoyable. But when I was so caught up in being right, I didn't have time to enjoy him.

Michelle M. said...

Yep, that book is one of my favorites too. I often read a chapter or two of it just to give myself a gut-check on how I'm treating my husband.

Thany said...

Yes! Great book and great thing to share! Any way we have to encourage each other in strenghtening our marriages is valuable.

Anonymous said...

I recently found that book on my shelf and re-read it. It is a great one - I probably should read it every year.

Tara said...

Its so hard when you KNOW you are right lol I will check this book out my sisters has been quoting Dr. Laura to me lately lol

Life on 7th Avenue said...

That book saved my marriage. I have passed in on to many friends.

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