Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Very Lengthy Trip to Wal Mart

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Before I tell you all about our extremely torturous, eternal trip to the Super Center, you need to know that when I blog about how to get your baby to sleep through the night, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE LADY WITH ALL THE KIDS!! Apparently, I have no idea what I am talking about, because you see, the baby who is on the brink of being 7 months old DOESN'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Not only does she wake during the night, but she wakes NUMEROUS times and expects to be cuddled back to sleep. This has never happened with any of our other babies and I'm working on resolving this issue ASAP because, have I mentioned that I need sleep?

The night before last, I stopped counting how many times the baby woke up crying after the NINTH time! Needless to say, I stumbled through the day in a droopy-eyed stupor.

Do you know the feeling when you have been jumping on a trampoline for a while and then you get off, but nobody told your legs? And they feel like they are made of jelly? Yes? That's the feeling I had all day, but it wasn't from jumping on a trampoline. It was from the extensive wakefulness the night before.

So, naturally I thought it would be a good time to take all seven kids to Wal Mart at about 4:00 in the afternoon because that's when they are extremely busy and my energy reserves were running on fumes.

It should have been a clue that this wasn't the brightest idea I have ever had when I told everyone to get their shoes on and I could hear lots of emptying of piggy banks and loans being made and pay backs being negotiated.

When we got there, the 4 oldest asked if they could take a buggy to the pet department to look at the fish. I told them they could and then to meet me in the diaper aisle when they were done. I picked up some diapers and looked for some size 2T panties. (Why can't I find those extra thick training panties?) I settled on some flowery ones and the 2 year old was thrilled to hold them and chatter constantly about her new panties.

We met up a little while later and I saw that their buggy was full of two bags of fish, a tank, an air pump, and lots of plants and gravel. When I looked at them questioningly, they all started jabbering about who was paying for what and assured me that they were using their own money.

Since I was too tired to argue with them discuss the matter, I consented with a wave of my hand and we headed to the check out, me pushing the 3 little ones strapped in to the Ultimate Shopping Buggy That Is Very Difficult To Navigate, and them trailing behind with their buggy full of fish stuff.

Of course there were only 4 lanes open with several people lined up in each.

When we finally got to the counter, an extremely young lady, who looked to be about 14, was our checker and while she rang up my purchases this was our conversation:

Her: Are these ALL your kids?

Me: Yep.

Her: 1,2,3,4,5,6... WHOA! You have 6 kids?

Me: You miscounted. I have 7.

Her: Are you going to have any more?

Me: Only time will tell.


Me: (Suddenly feeling even more tired than I was before) No.

Her: ****** (Uses the Lord's name in vain) I would DIE!

In the meantime, she had finished ringing up my purchases and had moved on to the fish buggy. Of course, these had to be rung up in 4 separate transactions because everyone had their own money.

I had to remind a certain someone for the 17th time that when we pay for an item, we don't hand the bills over in a wad. We unfold them and count them out in an orderly fashion.

As soon as we took one step away from the line with our purchases, MaddieLynn said, "Mommy, I think she rang up the air pump twice. Look at this receipt." I quickly saw that she was right, so I had my son, who had paid for it, step back to the counter to tell her.

She informed us that she was real sorry, and all, but we would have to go to the Customer Service counter (where there was ANOTHER line!) to get a refund.

I asked MaddieLynn why she hadn't said anything at the time she noticed the double charge, and that angel of a daughter said that she hadn't wanted to HURT THE GIRL'S FEELINGS! I may have mumbled something at that point about my feelings and that girl's manners, but I can't remember just what.

Are you thinking this story is mercifully nearing an end? Yes, I was too, but alas! It was not to be.

When we were in line, I realized that I hadn't paid for the panties because the 2 yr. old had been clutching them the entire time, so they had never made it onto the check out stand.

Fortunately, and this may have had something to do with the desperate, wild look in my eyes and the tick I had developed in my left cheek, the Customer Service Lady was more than glad to let me pay for the panties at her counter.

The moral of this story, friends, is this. It is never a good idea to go to the Wal Mart Super Center with 7 children at 4 in the afternoon to make 5 separate purchases.

And if you do, at least have the presence of mind to remember to bring the baby's pacifier.

Because if you don't, you will regret it deeply.


Christy said...

i have 4 kids a 7,6,4,and 2 year old and i am 6 mts pregnant and i have that same conversation with the 14 year old check girl every-time i go lol!! and i so feel your pain i was going for a light trip a few days ago around 5 in the afternoon and it was equally as painful lol

JunkMale said...

I thought for sure that this story would somehow involve vomit, but I'm glad (for your sake) that it didn't.

Pat's Place said...

Yep! Been there, done that--except I thought taking 4 boys was a trial of my endurance! Good luck on sleeping again sometime in the future! It does eventually happen; then, they get to the age when they don't WANT to wake up and grumble if you nudge them.

Sandy said...

Love it. Gotta love trips to wal-mart...not really though.

Holly said...

THAT is precisely why I avoid taking them ALL to Wal-Mart at any time...

But I have had eerily similar situations.....


Meliss said...

That check-out girl was not properly socialized. She needs to be homeschooled to learn to mind her own business. ;-)

My oldest three all slept through the night at 7 mos., 8 mos., and 10 mos. I follow the same philosophy of waking them during the day to feed them. My youngest didn't follow the same pattern despite the same philosophy. He has only recently stopped waking at 4 a.m. for that early morning feeding and he is almost two. My problem is more that I have trouble sleeping whether or not a baby is waking me up or not. Blech.

Brenda said...

I only have 2 kids and I feel like I have made that exact trip to Wal-Mart!

MamaJ said...

Oh my, that was a stressful trip to Wally World! There is no good time to go, however. We've been late at night only to have all the aisles blocked by boxes and the shelves practically bare. Good luck with the fish!

Ruthanne said...

Ohhhh, mannn... Those trips are killer!

We're finally at the point where eldest (15.5) babysits the crew in the evening and Jay and I go, just the two of us for those big trips into town.

Your daughter is so sweet not to want to hurt the punky checker-girl's feelings. (I know it didn't seem sweet to you at the time, however.) :P

Hey Connie? You're a funny writer.

Michelle said...

Been there, done that and got a t-shirt as a memento!

I'm sure people look at me and think I've lost my rocker while I'm constantly talking during our entire shopping trip, "Stop touching that, stay by the cart, please don't hide in the clothes racks, no you can't have that, stop whining, stop asking for everything, ok, now what isle is that in, etc."

Coupled with my lovely 3 year old who walks around in a daze and quite frequently walks into other people's shopping carts!

Our shopping trips are nothing less than a circus show and they usually last for around 1 1/2 hours. I've learned there is no such thing as a QUICK trip anywhere with lots of kids - but I wouldn't have it any other way!

You're blessed even if you can't see it in the midst of Walmart and their checkers!

Threeundertwo said...

I only have 3 and I can barely make it through a trip like that - much less when I am running on fumes! You are such a great patient mom.

I thought at the end you were going to say bring a pacifier for yourself.

D said...

Why is it that people at *walmart ask the most personal of questions? As a foster mom, I have a "variety" of babies, ethnicly. And someone, always, always, says are they twins? "Yes, I say, the black one and the chinese one are twins." or "Yes, I had 4 kids in 2 yrs, I know amazing, huh"

Donna(mom24boyz) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna(mom24boyz) said...

I mispelled some words in previous post, so I removed it!

How rude of the Walmart lady! But it does not surprise me when TV puts out shows like The Baby Borrows. The show basically lends teens a few babies to show how "terrible" and "hard" kids are so they will never want any.

The parents who "lend" their children out should be punished for the exploitation of their children (their precious and underserving gift from God)!

Jesabella said...

I have to say I read this last night and told hubby all about it. We only have our 1 and then part time my stepson. He asks all the time why 11 month old Addison doesn't sleep yet. I feel your pain and I can only imagine what it is like!

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