Thursday, August 20, 2009

The White Jeans

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My husband came home from his most recent golf tournament with two bags of new clothes for The Love of His Life. That's me in case you were wondering. (Thanks, Honey!)

In one of the bags was an item of clothing I have been wishfully dreaming of which I thought I might never own.

White Jeans. (Cue dreamy harp music.)

Now, finally, at long last I can be the epitome of style wearing my white jeans around town.

And my legs will look long and lean in those jeans. And there will never be Cheetoh, chocolate pudding, or booger-y hand prints on my hinelary region, or anywhere else for that matter.

The jeans will remain crisply pressed and pristine in their blinding whiteness because I live in a magical land where unicorns who poop rainbow sprinkles follow me wherever I go, flying about my head...

Wait a minute... (Harp music stops abruptly.)

Do unicorns fly?

Oh well. It was a nice fantasy.


18 comments:

Rachel said...

What I think you need to do to celebrate is eat a big ol' Costco hot dog with lotsa mustard . . .

Mmmmm. Oops. Who has the Tide2Go?

Kara said...

White has been banned from my closet for 9 years:) But how sweet of hubby to bring you them!

The Mommy Chef said...

I have the same dreams about owning a sparkling white dress that will stay pristine even in the presence of my 3 year old. Dreams are good...wish reality would take notice!

karen b said...

sorry...i couldn't get past the first sentence about your husband bringing clothes home for you -- wow!!!

Smockity Frocks said...

Rachel, I have vowed that I shall never eat a solitary morsel in my fabulous white jeans. Nor shall I touch a dead body or cut my hair. Except for my bangs. Amen.

And Girls, Isn't my husband a sweetie?!

Cardamom said...

My vote is the fourth one because...

YOU'LL NEVER WEAR THEM! :-) Too afraid of all of the above LOL!

Well at least you'll think of never wearing them - but that would defeat the purpose of thanking your husband!

Holly said...

Ooo. I chose option number one because tonight I am dwelling in reality. :)

I, too, have banned white. When a white shirt comes in this house, it immediately goes into the thrift store bag.

I just know that it is hopeless!

Smockity Frocks said...

I once wore a white shirt to church and made it all the way through Bible class before anyone wiped their nose on it.

Don't kill my dream, Ladies...

"I dreamed a dream in days gone biiiiiiiiiiiYYYYY..."

mamazee said...

the nice thing about white is - it's easy to bleach! I avoided white for a long time, but life is too short! I buy it, wear it, bleach it - it wears out quick with all the grubby little hands in my family, but it's nice to wear :)

Anonymous said...

Ah i love white jeans... I do not own a pair myself, but I think they would get dirty quickly. But who cares?? You will look fabulous even if they have fruit punch on them!!!

Digella said...

I purchased my first pair of white jeans on sale in Melbourne 3 years ago. They have been stained (but revived) burnt, because I tried to dry them quickly without a dryer in the oven and they parched them (opps) but they are still going and I love them and so does everyone else. I have 2 more pair now. LOVE LOVE LOVE! Enjoy friend you are one of us now!

*Mirage* said...

Why what a sweet thing for him to do! :)

I have 3 words for you: Tide To-Go Pen!!!!!!!! Lol! I'm the world's biggest clutz. Seriously I don't even need my kids' help, I just cannot help but wipe, spill, drool, dribble, or lean on something sticky and staining every time I ... well I was gonna say every time I leave the house but I'll be realistic and say every time I wear clothes. The Tide pen is a lifesaver. Once I went to Panda Express and left sporting a soy-sauce-covered-broccoli mark on my left leg suspiciously close to my crotch. I still had to go to WalMart- thank God for the Tide pen or I would have gone home grocery-less! Haha! Trust me, keep one of these puppies in the back pocket of your white jeans! All white clothing should come with a Tide pen, seriously!

And before I go I just wanted to say thanks ever so much for getting that song stuck in my head! :p Haha... I don't know the rest of the words so that one line just keeps on going and going and going and........

Threeundertwo said...

So funny. I wouldn't even attempt to wear white jeans. There's a reason God made them dark blue.

Harmony said...

Rachel, I have vowed that I shall never eat a solitary morsel in my fabulous white jeans. Nor shall I touch a dead body or cut my hair. Except for my bangs. Amen.

LOL

No white jeans for me. EVER. I am so clumsy I don't even need children to ruin them!

Smockity Frocks said...

I've never tried the Tide to go pen. I'll have to give it a whirl. (I'm sure I'll have ample opportunity to try it out.)

rachel said...

I voted on the last option...because to get through life one must have some hope. It never hurts to hope. :)

-another Rachel

Smockity Frocks said...

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, Another Rachel. Can I get an amen?

Meredith said...

You didn't list enough options - they could last forever - if you never wear them!

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