Saturday, August 4, 2007

One of Those Days

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Do you ever have one of those days when things start to go haywire from the get go and just continue to get "better" as the day goes on until you wonder what could possibly go wrong next?

Well, lest you think that things are always sunshine and daisies here in Smockityville, let me just fill you in on my day.

We started off with the usual ordeal of getting three littles buckled into Hogzilla so we could go pick up the three oldest ones from being at work with Daddy. I won't even go into the 20 minutes it took us to pull out of the driveway, because it was all pretty routine stuff around here. "I forgot my shoes." "I smell a poopy diaper." "I can't find my shoes." "My seat belt is too tight." etc.

Just enough to make me practice my deep breathing as I finally backed out.

Then there were the issues we had with chore time, which I will keep private here in order to protect the guilty...and, you know, my reputation. Let's just say everyone was sent to their rooms to think about how to work together joyfully.

My sweet husband had given me a chance to run to Sears to get a brand new vacuum. So, naturally, I thought things were looking up. When I came in contact with a saleswoman, I told her that I wanted a self propelled vacuum, because I had used my mother-in-law's self propelled vacuum, and I just couldn't get over how much easier a self propelled vacuum is to handle.

She showed me the only self propelled vacuum in the store. I checked out the reviews on-line and payed for my vacuum. (Incidentally, the 50 something saleswoman handed me my receipt without saying a word. It left me with that voice in my head with those oft repeated words I've said to my kids, "Aaaand now you saaaaaay..." No "thank you" from her, though. She turned silently and walked away, so I offered a weak, "Thank you," to the back of her head. "Oh well," I thought, "at least I am going home happy with my new self propelled vacuum."

Until I pushed it forward. Did I mention how I had asked for a self propelled vacuum? I immediately knew that this vacuum was SmockityPropelled, so I looked over the paper work ,and sure enough, there was not a word about it being self propelled.

So, I made tracks right back to the store to explain that I had made clear that I wanted a self propelled vacuum and this one was definitely not. She glibly explained that she thought it was self propelled. There I go hearing that voice again, "Aaaaand you saaaaay..." There was no apology or further explanation offered, though. She did ask me why I wanted a self propelled vacuum, though. "Because, woman, I am a pregnant woman in my forties with 6 children, and I am TIRED. DO YOU HEAR ME? TIRED!!" Okay, I didn't really say that out loud, but I did think it. On the way home. You know, as I was replaying the conversation with the added in commentary that I always think of later. I'll spare you the rest of the details, because the most exciting part of my day is YET TO COME! I do have a vacuum, though, so you can all rest easy about the state of my carpet.

Since the children had figured out a way to get their work done in a joyful manner, I decided that we should all go to the pool. Maybe we could all enjoy the sunshine and relax a little. Right?

So, after about 8 leisurely minutes of glorious relaxation, I found myself diving into the deep end FULLY CLOTHED (Since I make it a policy to never appear nearly naked in public, I am always fully clothed.) to rescue my non-swimming, sputtering, flailing 5 year old.

I'll bet you're wondering why one of the PAID(!)"life" "guards" didn't rescue her. (Yes, I am aware of the proper use of quotation marks. I just figure that if you are more attentive to adjusting your belly button ring than you are to actually guarding lives, then "life" "guard" is more of a figure of speech for you than a job description. Thus, the quotation marks.)

In any case, I was the one who saved her and then came the best part of my day (so far.) I got to parade past lots of nearly naked, tanned, manicured, pedicured people with my dripping wet summer weight, khaki maternity pants clinging to my back side and my pale green, linen maternity top clinging to my front side. I thought I heard some whispers of "Again! That makes 7!!" but I'm sure that was just my imagination.

Oh, the good times!

At this point, I am just hoping to get a screaming one year old and the rest of the group to the parking lot without any more attention-drawing episodes. That's when I noticed a smell that clued me in on the fact that apparently sometime during The Rescue, One Year Old had done a dirty deed in her swim diaper, which it turns out didn't keep as inside the actual diaper as you might think would be expected of a DIAPER!

(Practicing deep breathing again.)

The best I figure I can hope for this late in the day is that nothing will burst into flames during the preparation of dinner.

I'm not holding my breath though.


Steve, Dana and Maria said...

Oh.My.Word. I am so sorry! I just hate days like that. I hope you are sleeping well right now and that tomorrow will be better.

New Mom said...

I have those imaginary conversations too! It's probably a blessing from the Lord that we don't think of them at the opportune time, or else we'd be doing a lot of apologizing! I have days like that too... and I only have one child! (BTW, I just knew those swim diapers were some kind of a gimmick to get us poor moms to waste our money on even more expensive diapers!)

The sun'll come out tomorrow...

Laane said...

Oh dear... what a day!

But you managed..applause!!!

And forget about all those people who feel they can make comments about baby 7.

It's great that there are large families. Children learn so many things.
I have four boys with autism spectrum disorder, but often I hear from the schools of all of them that they can work on solutions of problems in such a cooperative way, that they are observant of children being left out, etc etc.

I don't say that children of little families are not able to learn those things. But in large families they have to in a rather natural way.

When they're maing problems together I do the same as you.

Have a great day!!

Sonya said...

Ah, nothing like one of these days to keep us humble, huh! I find that I learn my strength through things like this! I don't have six children but the two girls we do have really keep things interesting! I'm glad you kept it together!

A Hopeful Hollar said...

You never fail to make me laugh! Don't get me wrong, that kind of day gives me more oppurtunities for growth than I would ever ask for on my own and I certainly have compassion for the "imaginary" conversations. You just have such a gift for sharing your struggles that make me smile! :-)

A great and mighty man of God once said, "WHO CARES WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU?"... (HI, Mark!)

I'm glad I get a chance to see these wonderful blessings of God grow into servants just as their father and mother are. I hope that other's will see that too.

See you tomorrow!!!!!!!

narye said...

awww...well, you actually may want to hold your breath when you deal with those types of diapers. :D
I have 8. I understand. Your post made me want to go eat chocolate chip cookie dough and ice cream.

Kara said...

I can see it all so clearly! I'm trying to hold my tongue and not comment on the saleslady or the lifeguard because, well, there is so much I could say:) What a day though, I hope things are better today!!

kerri @ gladoil said...

Well, one thing-tomorrows GOT to be better! :)

I have always been suspicious of those diapers too. I just don't see any difference. Except the cute swimmy prints..

Bethanie said...

First off I'm really surprised you returned to Sears considering your washer escapade. Second, your a great story teller. You make my day.

Holly said...

I hear you. And I feel your pain. Especially that part about diving into the water fully clothed and having to walk around with a pregnant body that is clothed in dripping wet clothing. Of course, it is never easy to quickly gather up 6 (or 7) children so people get a good long time to stare at you....

Ah yes. The good times. I wish I could not relate to this day, but I can. Almost every day. (sigh.)

ps. We move tomorrow! ACK! I'm taking a five minute breather....

Tiany said...

Wow, what a day indeed! Praying for restful, quiet for you at some point in your day. :-)

This is my first visit to your blog and I love it! I found you while trying to locate the MOMYS blog!

I am hosting an open house and would love for you to particpate if you feel up to it, I know many homeschooling moms would be blessed by your experience!


Nikki said...

Oh Connie, I feel for you.

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