Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Gray Days

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It is a gray and dreary day here. The weather is contributing a bit to that feeling, but mostly it is because we (and by we, I mean all 8 of us) have been sick with the hydrophoby for going on 10 days now. (Yes, I know that is the medical term for rabies. We just use it to describe any illness. It must be said with wide eyes and a breathless, startled voice - just like in the movie "Old Yeller".)

We all have coughing and wheezing and coughing and more coughing and phlegm, oh mercy, the phlegm, the likes of which I hope never to encounter again. By the way, either Mucinex is way over marketed or we all have some mighty resilient mucus.

So, now you know of our ailments. I hope I haven't run off too many readers with the ghastly details. In the meantime, entertain yourselves, or enjoy your leisure (there is a difference, you know), with this poem that always gives me a grin.

Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf
by Roald Dahl

As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, "May I come in?"
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
"He's going to eat me up!" she cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, "That's not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!"
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
"I've got to have a second helping!"
Then added with a frightful leer,
"I'm therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood."
He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,
(Of course he hadn't eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes and after that
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,

"What great big ears you have, Grandma."
"All the better to hear you with," the Wolf replied.
"What great big eyes you have, Grandma,"
said Little Red Riding Hood.
"All the better to see you with," the Wolf replied.

He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, "I'm going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma
She's going to taste like caviar."

Then Little Red Riding Hood said, "But
what a lovely great big furry coat you have on."

"That's wrong," cried Wolf, "Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway."
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, "Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat."


Valerie said...

That is sooooo funny about the hydrophoby!! When my oldest son (11) was little, he LOVED the movie "Old Yellar". That is the one part of the movie my dh and I used to laugh about more than anything. We still laugh, and kid, about it now, years later. (BTW, my ds wanted to be a cowboy so bad, that is why he liked the movie--they had a gun and used it! He used to "play" with Travis and Arlis! Oh, is he ever embarrassed about that now!!)

lulubell said...

Awww! I'm SO sorry everyone is sick! I had no idea the whole family was ill. We're definately praying that everyone starts feeling better VERY soon. Hope to see you soon - Love you guys!!
And I totally loved the end of that poem. :)

Myfriendconnie said...

Valerie, I used to have a crush on Travis! Gotta love that movie!

Lulubell, Thanks for your prayers and I'm glad you liked the poem. Gotta love a girl who knows how to use a gun....on a wolf....who just ate her grandmother....

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